Body confidence: rules to help you feel good

Let’s talk about how to build all-over body-confidence!  I’m excited to be sharing my personal experience with self-esteem and body image, how they go hand in hand, and what we need to do to stay confident. 

Most people battle with low self-esteem and body confidence at some point in life.  Perhaps we wish our skin was clearer, or that our stomach was flatter, or our nose was smaller, or maybe we wish we were taller/shorter.  These feelings apply to both men and women.

There are mornings when I stand in front of a mirror looking at myself.  I check out my arms, my stomach and even my butt, and if I’m already feeling low, I can start to feel worse. I decide I want to look like I did when I was 22 years old.  I start to get down on myself and I can literally feel my confidence slipping away.


After a full body bashing, I continue to torture myself by scrutinizing my face in one of those magnifying mirrors. Then I think “Oh great, there’s a new little wrinkle developing.  Oh wonderful, a stray hair randomly growing some place it shouldn’t be.”  Sigh!  If it weren’t for the fear of seven years of bad luck, that mirror would be history.

In my mind, I am still in my early 20’s.  But my mind and my body are definitely NOT on the same page!  Often, our body image is directly tied to our self-esteem.  And there is no reason why we shouldn’t have all-over body confidence no matter what we look like.  It’s important to embrace who we are today and let go of the past.  Let go of the standardized perceptions of beauty, and find confidence from within.  And, the best part is, if there is something we are unhappy about – we have the power to change it.

Let’s face it, the things that bother us the most are the things that no one else would ever notice about us.  

However, when we do work on ourselves and we see change, our confidence starts to build.  Little things can make a huge impact.  For me, it was cleaning out my closet.  I used to hold onto clothes forever.  And every time I would walk in my closet I would see a certain pair of ripped-jeans circa 1985 and my mind would say…”Remember when you were a skinny young thing and rocked those jeans?”  That one single thought would zap my self-confidence and I would start to feel bad about myself.  The solution? Get rid of the jeans. I know it’s simple but, for me, not holding onto the past was important.  No one needs a daily reminder of something that might make them feel bad for no reason. Everyone has different concerns, but we all have the power to improve how we view ourselves.

Here are few simple rules we can follow to create all over body confidence and improve or self-esteem:

Self-image and self-confidence go hand in hand

Body confidence rule 1: Be realistic!

It’s okay NOT to look like you did when you were 22.  Think back to the good old days, were you wearing fashions that belong in the past?  Platform shoes, bell-bottoms or skinny ties?  Perhaps it was big shoulder pads, acid-wash jeans or a crop top?  Maybe you wore plaid shirts and clothes that were unflatteringly yet fashionably baggy?

Enough reminders of past fashion! Whatever the case, let’s admit it once and for all; we really do look better now than we did then! And if you aren’t sure, show an old picture of yourself to someone a decade younger than you.  I showed my kids a picture of me rocking a once-trendy outfit and – love ‘em – they burst out laughing.  Let’s romanticize the future, not the past!

Body confidence rule 2: Focus on the positive!

You know that feeling you get when someone randomly tells you that they love your shoes, or think your hair looks great?  Or when someone asks, “Have you been working out?” Think about how you feel in those moments.  We all have many positive attributes but sometimes just one, self-perceived, negative overrules the many positives.

Let’s change our focus: look in the mirror and what do you see?  Focus on the good things.  Do you have nice shiny hair, sparkly eyes, beautiful white teeth, toned abs or glowing skin?  Compliment yourself on what you love about you each and every day.  And own it!

Body confidence rule 3: Change is good.

If you want to change something about yourself, do it sooner than later.  If it’s your hair, try a new cut.  If you’re losing your hair and it’s making you insecure, get rid of it.  I know it’s difficult, but Taye Diggs, Jason Statham, Vin Diesel and Pitbull are all bald and they exude self- confidence.   And hey, even yours truly was bald for a few years.  Gentlemen, trust me, bald can be very sexy.

Worried about your weight?  Today is the day to make a change. The sooner you get started on making a change, the sooner you will start feeling better about yourself!

Remember, beauty is found in the eye of the beholder not on the pages of a fashion magazine. Throw your shoulders back, stand up tall, lift your chin up and smile.  Love yourself, love your family and love your friends.  Compliment yourself and others every day and be confident in who you are.  Self-confidence exudes positivity.  Today is the day to make a change for the better.

A positive self-image equals self-confidence!